Refusing to go on a company-paid event

Besides pointing out that it is the end of the semester and you have exams to prepare for, how about choosing an other event and propose to attend that one instead, as a replacement? Of course, if it is covered by the company training budget. Maybe related to your everyday work, or perhaps to that other technology. This might emphasize your will to learn, instead of slacking off the "work". And a gain: your colleagues would have attended the first event by then, and you can go to the second one and miss all the gossips from the coffee breaks.

Yes, you may decline (probably). I'd argue a good boss and company leaves plenty of room for opting out of events. People have lives and should work to live, not live to work. Prior engagements happen all the time, and it isn't the duty of a boss to determine the merit of what you consider more important.

I would, however strongly encourage going or re-evaluating the premise.

Tech is a weird world, where school isn't critical (I've done it all, from networking, PCI/ HIPAA compliance/ auditing, racking servers, desktop support, software architecture, development, etc.). What tech has: Plenty of reasonably intelligent to incredibly smart technology oriented people with and without a degree. A degree means very little in this field most of the time. One of the worst tech people I ever worked at (just bad at tech, and really everything else) had a Masters in MIS. I've worked with another Masters holder who was AMAZING. Most companies have similar experience.

What tech needs, is people who can do the hard part of tech. Learn new technology on their own, or through company support functions. And where many people are going to school so they may get their foot in the door, you are already inside.

More importantly still are soft skills. Teambuilding of any type should be the one thing you never shrug off. Additionally being able to analyze a new stack or technology. Imagine the difference between if 10 years ago you had recommended AngularJs or Azure. Both were release in 2010. With one you'd be in a rough spot, another... Amazing notch in the belt.

I’m shy, and therefore, I don’t socialize a lot with strangers, and usually feel like an outsider

Welcome to being a younger professional! In some ways, this won't ever go away entirely but that's a good thing. If you have aspirations of ever being more than a front-line employee then you will have challenges like this forever. Learning to embrace it, learn new things and expand your social circle can only serve you well. Sticking to what you know will only hold you back.

So in short: Look at it this way:

1. You have already entered a field people are trying to get into. That's a monumental first step.
2. These trips don't have immediate concrete outcomes, but they are the type of experiences that will benefit you far more than you give them credit for.
3. Seeing the forest through the trees, really is harder than it sounds.

Honestly the majority of your reasons for not wanting to attend are not very good. You have a lot of petty complaints and I wouldn't mention any of them if I were you, nor would I let them stop me from attending. Plenty of people have social anxiety, don't feel like traveling, etc. yet do so anyway.

As an introvert, I sympathize with you, but simply opting out of anything that makes you uncomfortable is not the answer. Learn to embrace it and see it as a learning experience. While it never goes away (in my experience) it does get easier and basic social skills are invaluable, if not necessary, in almost any role.

The one legitimate reason you have is your studies. It would certainly be reasonable to discuss this with someone and see what can be done, though I wouldn't begin the conversation by simply refusing to go.

I don't think you can refuse to go. If your employer wants you to go, doing so is part of the work you are assigned to do, so you go.

What you can do, and I think you should, is argue against it, provided you do so in a constructive way. What I'd do is ask your boss for a meeting to discuss this, and in the meeting:

• explain why going is a burden for you, considering your circumstances
• explain why you feel the burden is greater than the benefits, not only to you but also to your employer
• say that you'd really prefer not to go
• ask what your boss considers the benefits of going, and ask what, if you weren't to go, you could do to compensate

So don't hide your problems with going, but leave the decision up to your boss (where it belongs), and avoid putting it as a negative; be as constructive and loyal as you consider feasible.

You have legitimate reasons for not attending due to your hours, so I would highlight this and point out it is not your preferred learning style. Highlight you are keen to learn the new stack and suggest a learning method that would suit you and explain why. Remember though good software development usually requires 70% talking 30% coding, so its alway worth getting to know your peers.

I agree with @sf02's answer that you should simply and politely decline to attend based on your previous education commitments.

However, I'd like to take the chance to point out that - apart from the educational/time constraints - I find your general attitude to the issue rather strange, and I suggest you should have a hard look at it.

Your company pays you to do a certain job. If the company/your supervisors tell you to use a tech stack it is well within their power to do so - after all they are paying you for your time and they get to decide how you spend that time, including which technology you should be using to provide value to their business.

• I do not think it is reasonable for you to demand a pay raise simply because you think that an additional, new technology will mean "your work increased".

• If the company is even paying you for your education that is a chance many other people would jump on. After all you can broaden your horizons, broaden your profile (and thus raise your value/employability), all on company time and budget. Note that even if you're not directly applying the new tech stack in your everyday work you will still, in the long-term, profit of having a broader and more diversified knowledge base.

• I understand that you do not want to attend events which make you feel uncomfortable because of the social context. But I invite you to give some though on how you want to tackle this moving forward. What if the next time the event is during normal work hours during the week? You will hardly be able to decline, as it is well within a tech employees responsibility to attend conferences/courses if their employer asks them to. I'd wager you will have a hard time building a long time career in IT without being exposed to such events, so finding a strategy to cope with them that works for you is advisable rather than flat-out refusing to participate.

You are, of course, always within your rights to decline any kind of educational offers from your company or any events which make you feel uncomfortable (at least if during the weekends). This might mean having to quit a job - but even if not, keep in mind that this will not paint you in the best light for this employer, and they might stop seeing you as the long-term investment they see in other tech employees.

How do I politely decline the going to event C, without getting asked (for the second time) why I’m not going,

Politely decline and let the company know that you cannot attend because it interferes with your education.

This is a perfectly legitimate reason for not attending such an event and anyone who sees it as anything other than an employee trying to improve themselves is an unreasonable person. The fact that you cannot make it due to your school obligations has nothing to do with your interest in the particular stack and once again only an unreasonable person would jump to such a conclusion.