Short story about aliens who use torture to communicate/prove trustworthiness

I have read this one, and though I do not yet remember the title of the story, I can add some details to see if it triggers anyone else's recall (mildly graphic descriptions of torture behind spoiler tag):

The alien society defines status by torment. Their senior leaders are those who have experienced the most torture, inflicted in a specific ritualistic progression, and their folk heroes are those who willingly allowed themselves to be tortured to death.

The protagonist first has an assortment of tortures demonstrated to him, when the alien torturer

As the protagonist is taken farther down the path of torment, his status rises until he is the equivalent of a supreme leader to the aliens, with the authority to make the decisions desired by the envoys. The alien offers the protagonist the choice to continue down the path to death, to become immortalized in legend (he says something like 'women will squirt their milk over your grave,'). The protagonist refuses long enough to issue the desired orders. He spends the last bit of the story considering his situation from the perspective given by his experience, which has divorced him from all the values he once held.