Puzzling Asked on May 9, 2021
Recently, I found this question: Girls are Mean! which I wanted to strike back at with twice the amount of swords… And here’s the story.
Hello, I am Dr. Bonn and I am willing to find out if boys can be mean, too. So, I walked around the street looking for a boy-girl pair, and at almost the end of it, I found a perfect one to test my theory. I found a piece of homework that definitely belonged to a big sister, except, it was, uh, math homework? No, and I also found a science research project.
So I gave the boy (whose name was, I think, Grayson), this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDy95_eNPzM "the earth still isn’t flat", and I gave him the paper and he, seriously, messed it up.
[Flat earthers] aren’t what you think they are going to be in [Cavendish experiment].
They mostly [maybe] tower over ["globetards"], but most of [researchers] stay on
the [globe]. When [Flat earthers] first [blamed globe earthers] they were pretty [gravitational].
But after [300] years of evolution, they became [electromagnetic] and [electromagnetic], slowly but
[unsurely].However, 66 [0] years ago, an [dipole] struck the [Antarctic Treaty], [Dunning-Kruger] ing
them off the [personal dome].A lot of them weren’t as [nice] as you think they were, because
they only [knew] [weird scientific terms], but some of them did eat other [flat earthers]. "
The next day, however, Dr. Howard asked me to "FIX IT UP!", because we had the following argument:
Dr. Howard: "I’m very disappointed that you deviated from our subject of talking about artificial intelligence, and researched if boys are mean or not!"
Me: "Well, it wasn’t intentional, okay? I just saw a post on Puzzling SE and I got deviated! "
Dr. Howard: "Oh, these guys? They’re crazy, okay! Now get back to fixing our problem about neural nets! "
Me: "Look, it was at least a scientific deviation, okay, Dr. Howard?!"
Dr. Howard: "Well, you asked a boy to mess up a girl’s homework! That isn’t scientific! "
Me: "It is! It teaches about psychology! "
Dr. Howard: "NOO! FIX IT ALL UP! "
Me (sighing): "Fine. "
I forgot what the original paper was, and he started messing it up so quickly. So, I turn back to you guys, for help on figuring out the original.
The original text doesn't seem to have been taken word-for-word from anything on the internet, and it seems like some gaps can be filled in multiple equally-plausible ways, so I can't guarantee I've reconstructed it exactly, but this is clearly about
Dictionary:
Hopefully-fixed-up version:
Things I'm not entirely satisfied with in this answer:
Correct answer by Gareth McCaughan on May 9, 2021
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