Help me to envision a man falling towards a black hole with all of the time dilation involved

Your eyes don't directly perceive the outside world. They only perceive light that enters them through the pupil and strikes the retina. To reach your eyes, the light has to travel from wherever it was emitted.

By the definition of the event horizon, light that's emitted inside the event horizon can't reach any point outside the event horizon, so as long as your eyes are outside the event horizon, you'll never see it. Light that's emitted outside the event horizon, but very close to it, can eventually reach your eyes, but it takes a long time to escape the black hole's gravity. As the point of emission approaches the horizon, the time the light takes to escape approaches infinity. Therefore, it takes forever for all of the light that was released before crossing the horizon to reach your eyes. (Classically, anyway. Quantum mechanically, there are only finitely many photons, and you'll see the last one at some finite time.)

The fact that you see the infalling person "frozen" at the horizon is an optical illusion, like a mirage. Your brain assumes that light travels instantaneously in straight lines from its origin point to your eye, and when that approximation isn't accurate, it gets confused. In reality, falling through the event horizon happens very quickly.