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How to raise a more tolerant 13yo boy towards LGBT?

Parenting Asked by Shake Baby on October 26, 2021

I’ve recently noticed my 13yo to be uncomfortable around LGBT topics. Not that they are common in our daily life but it has made me want to show him the short animation "In a heartbeat". I then asked for his impressions but he refused to talk about the topic.

I wonder what is an adequate way to approach the topic with him?

4 Answers

They say that when people from different groups have a contact in equal matters and need to cooperate to achieve something they feel more tolerant. So, before LGBTQ people ( I say this because he said he is intolerant) , you can help him to attend a charity event or fundraising for disabled people, or you can join a dinner event or a barbecue for immigrants or any other international group. So, maybe he can play football or any other sports he likes with a LGBTQ members in it. If they are in the same group and they help each other to win the game I think it will be a great icebreaker.

Answered by Bahar Aykaç on October 26, 2021

This answer is coming from a member of the LGBT+ community. I am also 13.

Just teach your kid that everyone is equal. Tell him that people can't control if they are LGBT+.

He might be being influenced by other kids in school, or if you have intolerant family members, them. It's good that you are supportive of it! As long as he grows up to know that it is normal, he should be fine.

Answered by user40458 on October 26, 2021

I’m a (mostly) gay man, and at 13 I would have been uncomfortable talking with a parent about gay couples in media or other queer topics. I don’t think I need to justify though that I’m not intolerant towards LGBT people, and it’s not because my father made an effort to raise me as tolerant. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

I’ve noticed in general a push to raise children who are welcoming of LGBT specifically, and I don’t think it’s hugely critical. We’re no different from anyone else. Just raise your child to be loving and compassionate to everyone, no matter the person’s condition, and I’m sure he’ll turn out fine.

Answered by gen-ℤ ready to perish on October 26, 2021

This post does not really answer the question, but it prepare the road to find an answer :

Being tolerant and being comfortable are two very different things.

  • It might just be that for different reasons your son is uncomfortable around sexual / gender questions.
  • It might be personal issues.
  • It might be that his ideas are far enough from yours that he is not confident in your reaction to him voicing those ideas.
  • It might be that he is getting this kind of talk often at school (or on the Internet) and that he doesn't want a repeat with his family.

So, before branding him intolerant, just ask him and yourself "why is he uncomfortable ?" and "why can't he speak about it as freely as I do ?"
Not speaking freely about a topic is not a sign of intolerance in itself. Don't try to fix something before knowing if it is broken.

Answered by MakorDal on October 26, 2021

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