Can anyone advise me on repair options for my 2012 Subaru Impreza?

I’m a young woman wondering if my mechanics are taking advantage of me.

There is no way to know if you have been taken advantage of, sadly it happen to women and men.

Will these repairs REALLY cost that much? Could they be done cheaper? If so, how?

I would find a certified Subaru mechanic shop, It MAY be less money elsewhere but it is certainly a good idea to a second/third opinions and quotes. (Subaru is popular car in Washington).

Could the first four (!) mechanics have really missed these leaks, or were they waiting for them to get worse with the hope I would return for service?

It is likely that the first mechanics were correct about no leaking but the later leaking was a result of the problems that arose on the drive to Washington. It is unlikely that they would bet on you returning with a bigger problem, if they were unscrupulous they would have just made up a problem.

Running low on oil generates heat, heat is the enemy of engines and can cause a myriad of problems.

How soon do they need to be done, assuming I monitor the oil level and don’t let it drop too low?

I have always had cars that either leaked or used oil, as long as you are vigilant in checking and maintaining the appropriate oil level you keep driving it. ( to a point, if you are using a quart a day it is not practical or affordable, but if it is a quart a month you can get by for a while. If it leaking into the cooling system that is whole different matter.)

They said my timing cover gasket was leaking, my control arm bushings were cracked, and my driver side head gasket needed replaced due to “seeping”. They took a video under the car and showed me the places of concern. Then quoted me $4000 for the repairs.

The cracked control arm is not something you can put off, it is part of your suspension system, it can cause other part to wear or fail, result in uneven tire wear and if it fails while driving it can lead to a crash. This article explains them.

I would get the control arm fixed asap.

Monitor the oil usage every few days to see how much is being lost to leakage, keep notes. Get some oil absorbing mats to put under the car were you park it.

Find a couple of independent certified repair shops and have them do an inspection and give you quotes. Talk to coworkers, read Subaru forums, check Angieslist, ask on Nextdoor for Subaru shop recommendations.

All mechanics are expensive, Dealers are sometimes more so.

Do not tell the shops that you took your subi to the dealership, just say you think you have a oil leak in the head gasket or timing cover area, This will insure they are making there own assessments and will suggest to them that you more mechanically astute then you may be ;)

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Do some research and learning on car maintenance, maybe take a class so you can

A. Understand your own vehicle and do money saving maintenance yourself and

B. Feel more confident when talking to a garage/mechanic so you do not feel that you are being taken advantage of. (Knowledge will reduce the chance but not eliminate it, second opinions help.)

The engine is either burning oil or leaking. Do you have any oil spots on the driveway under your car ?If it is leaking it should not be too expensive of a fix and it can indeed be the valve cover leaking. If it is burning oil the engine it self needs serious servicing (which may indeed be the head gasket, and it may not have leaks visible if it is the headgasket and thats why the other mechanics did not see a leak) . I would suggest for used cars going to a reputable but cheap mechanic ( those do exist). The dealer is always overpriced and in practice many small mechanic businesses are just as knowledgeable. The shop i work with can replace the entire engine for $1500 if that is what was needed. Any cheap mechanic can replace the control arm, that's a basic job and should run you no more than 350$. In short the repairs the dealer is suggesting are plausible but greatly overpriced. You can also constantly monitor the oil level and make sure it is always full and drive the car normally in the meantime.