Is the hadith "Allah has chosen the Arabs above others" reliable, and how does it not contradict "no virtue for an Arab over a non-Arab"?

The hadith of the farewell pilgrimage is strong and well known, it is also in agreement with the Quran:

يا أيها الناس إنا خلقناكم من ذكر وأنثى وجعلناكم شعوبا وقبائل لتعارفوا إن أكرمكم عند الله أتقاكم

O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you.

^{— Quran 49:13}

On the other hand اصطفى العرب is similar to :

إن الله اصطفى آدم ونوحا وآل إبراهيم وآل عمران على العالمين

Indeed Allah chose Adam and Noah and the family of Abraham and the family of 'Imran over the worlds.

^{— Quran 3:33}

This is in terms of favor: in revealing the Quran in their tongue and raising the Prophet among them. Otherwise there are people like Abu Lahab who was from the Banu Hashim but is accursed in the Quran ... and there are praised Sahabah like Bilal from Ethiopia and Salman from Persia.

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Kafa'ah (equality of status in marriage) is recognized by the schools, and it is generally not encouraged to marry outside of it, because inequality of presumed social status may lead to incompatibility and conflicts down the road.

However, a marriage outside of Kafa'ah is still possible and valid, but it requires the express consent of the woman and her family:

So in Hanafi marriages (who allow a woman to marry without the consent of the guardian): the guardian may contest the marriage when it is outside of Kafu.

Similarly, in Shafi marriages (who allow a father to marry off a virgin daughter without her consent): the father can not do so if it is outside of Kafu.

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There are differences among the jurists as to what things to account for in Kafa'ah: They all only agree upon religious piety. Other factors include profession, freedom, wealth and various facets of lineage such as whether the person is arab or not.

Most of the jurists recognized some form of lineage as a valid factor, except for the Malikis:

ولم يعتبر المالكية الكفاءة في النسب

The Malikis do not account for lineage in Kafa'ah

^{— الفقه الإسلامي وأدلته للزحيلي}

The author also preferred this view and cited several examples from the life of the Prophet where he arranged marriages outside of lineage, e.g the marriages of Zaid bin Haris and Usama bin Zaid:

والحق أن اعتبار النسب في الكفاءة ليس صحيحاً، والصحيح قول المالكية

The truth is that consideration of lineage in Kafa'ah is not correct, and the saying of the Malikis is correct.