How to ask someone on a date when dating isn't usual in your culture?

Indian woman here. An acquaintance and I decided to have coffee one day. After reaching the venue, he says, 'Thank you for coming to the date.' Yuck. I told him it is not a date and left the place. When asking out, tell the other person clearly if you want a casual outing with them or a date. Things would be very clear.

Do not overthink and do not complicate it. If you do not want to spoil the relationship, be clear in your thoughts.

You could always say, 'There is a nice XYZ place that sells delicious ABC food. I am going there this evening. Want to join me?'. Keep the tone casual. Don't sound desperate.

Or say, 'This movie is very interesting. I love so and so person's role a lot. Want to watch it?'

If it is a one day trip that you want, then you need to start with short one or two hour meet ups.

I would not invite someone over to watch a movie or to go on a one-day trip as a first approach.

Invite first someone you are interested for short one-to-one meetings in a coffee shop or somewhere in the city just to have a short talk, in that way it will be a less stressful environment, and provides an easy way out if one of the parties is not romantically interested. Those first meetings should not last much more than 1-2h.

If after a couple of those meetings both of you still keep on interested on getting on together, go then for the option of doing several one day outings.

I would leave the option of the two of you seeing a movie together, for when you are more romantically involved unless you are seeing the movie with a group of friends of both sexes.

I have used this approach in the past successfully, including with my current wife which comes from a rather conservative background. It also worked with two former girlfriends from my culture, however the feedback I had from them is that they thought I was going too slow. I do however as an adult guy, also prefer the approach I am describing.

I am an Indian, and having gone on dates, I would say don't call it a date. Just ask if she would like to go on a "insert activity here" with you. The risk associated with this kind of question is always there, whether you call it a date or not. But not calling it a date gives you and her the flexibility to go on a date without calling it a date- and is less risky. It gives the girl also the flexibility to test your relationship before declaring it to be something. I don't know how old you are or your circumstances, but in India, boy and girl do go on movies by themselves not declaring to be bf/gf. I have gone for movies/concerts with friends who were girls. This happened while we were working together. Some of them are still my friends, one turned to be my wife.

Based on the answer you gave me in the comments, now it's more clear to me.

Since you said that the first official date is something like a "test" for your relationship, why not telling her that you would like to do this test? You go out for a movie and then you will see if going on with this or just remain friends.

You said you are very close, and I assume that she understands the meaning of a date too, so it shouldn't be a problem to ask her this..

what if we go out for a movie / a one-day trip? I really like your company and I would like to make a step forward in our relationship.

There is always a risk in this kind of requests, as in all boy - girl friendship which ends in such a request: if she says no, the friendship could not be same again.

So my answer to your question is: if you want to be sure that your friendship will not be damaged, don't ask her, because you will never be sure that her answer will be yes. But I think that if you really like her it worths a try.

Good luck!

What I would do in such situation is to try to understand what she expects from a relationship, what she thinks about dates, and so on. You seem to be close friends, so maybe it's the kind of conversation you could have together, like:

I like the idea of dates. I think they're a great way to get to know the person you like. I would like to go on dates with the person I like before becoming his/her boyfriend, because I truly think it can help reinforcing bonds. What do you think about it?

By doing this you do not tell her that you have feelings for her, and you ask her "Hey, how should a relationship begin according to you? What would you like to do with your SO before getting together?". This could be the kind of conversation friends could have, like if they were asking for advice or something. This would help you having an idea on whether she likes dates and could go on one with you. The problem of my answer however, is that after that, if you ask her on a date afterwards she'll be certain that you like her and want to have a relationship with her. I say this because in my country flirting is not straightforward at all and people can be close for months and go on dates together before one admits he/she likes the other. But if going on a date means trying to begin a relationship for both of you and that she accepts, well there's no problem then!