An Unusual Gratitude

A few years back as a student in an Indian university, my affair with a girl (call her A) and the subsequent break-up became a public affair. A had no role in this publicity and she had already graduated before the publicity happened. Unable to continue under the circumstances, I dropped out. A year later, I received a friend request from her friend (call her B) on a social network. We became casual online friends. This question is regarding communication with B, as I discuss in the following paragraphs.

I worked in the industry for a few years, but some fateful events brought me back to my university, and I recently completed my degree. Completing my degree was a poignant moment for me, a moment of gratitude. I thanked all the professors and office staff who helped me out in any way. I am now planning to go for a doctorate degree and am very happy to be back where I truly belong.

As this felt like a moment of closure for a somewhat sad past, I thought I needed to thank B too. She had unwittingly helped me (another long story). But telling her that she helped me meant traversing the events of my drop-out year. But I still decided to communicate this gratitude to her.

In an online chat with B a few months back, I disclosed this to B. She was shocked to know that I had dropped out, misunderstanding that I had still not forgotten the events with A, and was probably looking for a rebound. Before I could get to the point that I was thankful to her and that I was happy to be back in academia, the conversation ended and we disconnected on the social network.

Now, I am left with a feeling of regret of having sent the wrong message to B that I hold A culpable of my past circumstances, which is not the case. Further, she still respects me as an intellectual person (I had a good reputation as being the top of my class) and disconnected only because she didn’t want to cause any further harm.

I am planning to send her a unidirectional email (i.e. with no obligation for her to reply back, ending our conversation on a positive note). In this email:

• I want to apologize for our last conversation
• I want to thank her for her (unwitting) help

How could I express gratitude without causing any further misunderstanding, with the hope of ending our friendship on a positive note?