English Language & Usage Asked by Tam Le on July 31, 2021
I am translating an epic to English. In the original, it has the phrase
He wields his godly lance, the lance full of souls of people who died of injustice.
"He" is the protagonist. He is described as the strongest, the most handsome, the bravest man in the world. He would overcome many obstacles and achieve wonders.
The phrase "souls of people who died of injustice" in the original language has only 2 words. As it is repeated a few times in the epic, I would hope that the wording I use would also be concise.
More than shortness/utility, this phrase reflect an important point of their moral view of wars, justice. This view is consistent with other philosophies in the epic about human, humanity, human rights. So I hope it would be concise and memorable.
These words have been discussed in comment section and then moved here by a moderator. I believe some suggestion are excellent by its own right, none of them are "bad" or "wrong". However I considered them to be not a good fit into the story as a whole. Future readers should also consider these words in their particular case.
"Martyr" seems to assume some kind of posthumous validation/recognition. I don’t think any positive implication is appropriate in this case. Also "Martyr" have a strong link to religious belief. These souls are simply victims of war, also no religions are identified in the epic.
I feel "souls of the oppressed" is a little bit specific in a direction that introduce new meaning. The epic does not have any significant oppression angle. Being oppressed is a consistent state of rights-stripping actions, usually within a directional policy. Injustice could refer to one or many unrelated/related actions that are unjust. You could live your whole life as a privileged person and still died of injustice like a robbery or being framed.
I don’t feel "Souls of the slain" is clear enough of the judgement aspect. Injustice means it’s judged to be wrong. This epic often made it clear what’s right and wrong
I doubt that we have a unique term for these unfortunates. I suggest one possibility that parallels well the concepts of these who died through injustice: the mortally oppressed fits your definition.
Mortally = severely enough to cause death
Oppressed = governed in an unfair and cruel way and prevented from having opportunities and freedom (and as a noun to describe such people)
”oppressed minorities”
”the poor and the oppressed”
Answered by Anton on July 31, 2021
How about the unjustly dead?
The <adjective> is short for the things/people who/that are <adjective> and in this case it's modified by an adverb so it's saying the people who are dead as a result of injustice. The context of an epic poem about a magical lance suggest that the dead are present in a magical way (souls) rather than the lance literally being full of corpses.
Adverbs and other words ending in -ly stand out a bit and having two in proximity could be a problem so maybe change godly to something else like divine. Just because I think it makes for better rhythm to the line, maybe consider took up instead of wielded
He took up his divine lance, filled with the unjustly dead.
Answered by smithkm on July 31, 2021
"souls of people who died of injustice"
"Wronged souls" = souls who have been wronged; souls who have had wrong/a wrong/wrongs inflicted upon them.
OED:
To wrong (v.): I. transitive.
1.a. To do wrong or injury to (a person); to treat with injustice, prejudice, or harshness; to deal unfairly with, withhold some act of justice from (some one).
1860 Ld. Tennyson Sea Dreams 168 His gain is loss; for he that wrongs his friend Wrongs himself more.
Wrong (n.)
II. A wrongful or unfair action, and related uses.
9. A wrongful, unjust, or unfair action; a violation or infringement of one's rights; an injury received or inflicted; a mischief.
1795–6 W. Wordsworth Borderers v. 2071 He forgave the wrong and the wrong-doer.
Answered by Greybeard on July 31, 2021
I think @smithkm is on the right path with "unjustly," but "dead" is too passive and neutral. "Slain" is more poetic, but "slaughtered" really makes the wrongness of the deaths vivid and immediate.
He wields his godly lance, the lance full of souls of the unjustly slaughtered
However, this makes it sound like he's killing people unjustly with his lance, and that it's then drinking their souls which doesn't sound like the hero you were describing. So, assuming he's fighting on behalf of the unjustly slaughtered (and not the one unjustly slaughtering them) I might tweak this a bit more:
"His lance blessed by the passion of the unjustly slaughtered"
Answered by Chris Sunami supports Monica on July 31, 2021
harrowed souls
To hell and back (the righteous; wounded warriors); the aggrieved, seeking justice (synonymously) and wielding...by proxy or by imbuing or attaching to...a spike? Holy Harrow! Manifestation!
I like it.
Definitions/word origin:
Answered by KannE on July 31, 2021
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