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To friend vs. to befriend

English Language & Usage Asked by batpigandme on July 15, 2021

I overheard a mother correct her child who said something to the effect of

There was a new kid in my class today and I friended him.

The mother said befriended and I was inclined to mentally agree (given the kid was maybe six or seven, it’s unlikely that he was referring to social networking).

However, with a little Googling, I discovered an article from The Atlantic which suggests that ‘Friend,’ as a Verb, Is 800 Years Old.

  • “Make no purses, for to friend yourself therewith.” — the Guide for Anchoresses, early 13th century
  • “And after soon friended were the King David of Scotland and Stephen, king then of England.” — Andrew of Wyntoun, Chronicles, c. 1425

This answer regarding the be prefix offers:

The general form is:

   be + [quality]

and the corresponding meaning is:

 to turn into + [quality].

So, I guess my question, then, is what is the difference between the verbs to friend and to befriend? Was the kid right?

One Answer

Friend as a verb is very old, but its use is now limited to adding someone to a list of social network contacts. Befriend doesn’t necessarily mean ‘make a friend of’. It is typically used when a person offers support to someone in difficulties, rather like the good Samaritan.

If you’re describing the establishment of a close, but not sexual or romantic, relationship, you have to say that two people are, or have become, friends.

Correct answer by Barrie England on July 15, 2021

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