Set the table, or lay the table?

Question

I have read that set is American and that lay is British.

But I do not think it is nearly as simple as that. I grew up in rural England in the late 1940s/50s, and we always set the table. In fact lay still jars with me now.

So who sets and who lays the table?

And in Britain, what is the social class implication? Is it posher to set or to lay. What do the servants in Downton Abbey do?

FumbleFingers · Accepted Answer

It's not so much that set is American and that lay is British - rather, that Brits use both forms more or less equally often...

...whereas Americans almost exclusively stick with set...

Personally, I find set slightly more "formal, dated" - but I suppose that's just because half a century ago, my mother always instructed one of us kids to lay the table. We were true peasants, so I always assumed set was a bit la-di-da (obviously it's not).

I think it's a given that since NGrams are drawn from written published sources, they'll tend to over-represent more formal usages. So I suspect that if I could compare formal/informal contexts (contracted I'll lay the table, as opposed to I will lay the table)), this might well support my gut feel about the difference (in BrE - obviously the concept is largely meaningless for AmE). But there simply aren't enough written instances to meaningfully compare.

Mark James · Answer

It is , and in my neck of the woods, London & home counties, still is,   Lay The Table.

Set the table would probably get you a slap from my Grandmother in 1953!!!

Set the table, or lay the table?

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