Multiple names and titles in a single sentence?

This study includes interviews from notable professionals such as 3 time Emmy award winner John Smith, Northern State University Professor of Quantum Mechanics Dr. Jane Cook, Founder and CEO of Planet Express Hubert Farnsworth, …

The above sentence is similar to one from a research paper. I tried rearranging it as below:

This study includes interviews from notable professionals such as John Smith (3 time Emmy award winner), Dr. Jane Cook (Northern State University Professor of Quantum Mechanics), Hubert Farnsworth (Founder and CEO of Planet Express), …

This makes it a bit easier to read and appears to be the format other articles use, but I was wondering if it’s grammatically correct to place titles in parentheses in this way. Would either sentence be incorrect in usage for any reason?