Looking For a Simile For Something That Follows You Around

Though I would love to brainstorm with you about the crudest possible metaphors in private, I'll confine my comment here to how I would construct these:

• Think of bad people.
• Think of edgy, cool, or comical agents such as sharks or tax collectors.
• Think of culturally relevant people (though your writing will age better if the subject is culturally relevant on a long term basis).
• What are these people obsessed with, or negatively associated with in the media? Or what do they mainly do?
• Who do these people love, harm, or hate? Where do these people find targets?
• Can the target be adapted to a more comical form, such as changing "surfers" to "hipsters", "fish" to "baby seals"?
• Additionally, consider anything that "stalks" such as predatory cats.

You will generate associations. Filter the associations for those that involve following. Pick one that fits your tone.