English Language & Usage Asked by ofShard on September 28, 2021
Say I’m cooking and I ask a family member for advice or support. Instead of only answering the question or playing an assistive role, they just step in and do all the cooking for me. What would you call that category of unhelpful/undesired help? If that’s too narrow for a single word, perhaps as a more broad description, what would you call it when someone just solves a person’s problem instead of helping the person learn to solve the problem themselves?
In a sense, the opposite of the sentiment in the "teach a man to fish" proverb that people commonly (incorrectly) attribute to the Bible.
A word I considered is "enabling". In certain contexts helping someone in a way that ultimately harms them might be called "enabling", but that doesn’t quite feel like the right word here. Maybe I’m being too picky.
An example usage might be: "I was cooking and asked my dad if I had the temperature right, but he ended up cooking the entire meal instead. I really wish he would help instead of XXX."
In British idiom we often use take over in this context:
"I really wish he would help instead of taking over"
to take over = to replace someone or something
take over = phrasal verb ; If you take over a job or role or if you take over, you become responsible for the job after someone else has stopped doing it.
His widow has taken over the running of his empire, including six London theatres.
He took over from his uncle as governing mayor.
She took over as chief executive of the trust.
and a final example chosen at random:
Sometimes she helped Henrietta, the cook, whom everyone called Miss Hen, and on weekends Thrower often took over the cooking. She took over the cooking fulltime when Miss Hen died. And she stayed on for more than 50 years, until the Hollanders died, then worked for one of their children.
To give a negative feel, you might in some contexts use arrogate, as in "He arrogated the task to himself" but the word is just not used enough nor understood widely enough to qualify well. usurp is another possibility but with more limited meaning.
arrogate = to take something without having the right to do so:
"They arrogate to themselves the power to punish people"
usurp = to take power or control of something by force or without the right to do so
"He frequently usurped the powers of the commander, to whom he felt superior, especially if the latter was a non-party person"
Correct answer by Anton on September 28, 2021
I’d use the expression:
do something which another person was doing before; replace somebody.
so:
“I was cooking and asked my dad if I had the temperature right, but he ended up cooking the entire meal instead. I really wish he would help instead of taking my place/replacing me.”
Answered by user 66974 on September 28, 2021
This may not apply to the "cooking example" provided by the OP but does seem to cover the question (so far as the title goes) well.
spoon-feed
To treat (another) in a way that discourages independent thought or action, as by overindulgence.
[American Heritage Dictionary]
Answered by user57854437 on September 28, 2021
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