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Feedback on "...as soon as ..."

English Language & Usage Asked by Celine Harumi on October 1, 2021

I want to know if the following sentence is correct:

Therefore, the order of X will be determined as
soon as the following results are proved:

My aim is to determine the order of an object, X. For this, I need to prove other results. Is this sentence grammatically correct?

One Answer

The sentence is very passive in voice. There's a glut of helping verbs that I'd recommend you avoid, especially since this appears to be somewhat-academic. Other small note, I think you should use proven over proved here. Proved would be used when the proving is a complete event in the past. Proven implies that they may still ongoing.

If you're trying to get someone off your back about a deadline, maybe start off with the prerequisite events: "As soon as the results are proven, we will determine the order of X."

Or if you like your current structure: "Our team will determine the order of X as soon as the the following results are proven."

Last note - the way you have written the determining implies that anyone may be determining the order of X. If you know, just say it. "Me/I" or "we" or "the study team" or whatever it may be gives the reader more context with very little extra writing.

Active, concise writing is always the goal!

Correct answer by Joe Maxwell on October 1, 2021

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