How do I stop smelling like a wet dog?

Question

Whenever I meet a guard, they nonchalantly tell me I smell of wet dog. That was par for the course when I was a lycanthrope, but I got better. According to UESP, guards may refer to you as a werewolf even if you have been cured of lycanthropy. How do I get guards to stop telling me I smell like a wet dog?

galacticninja · Accepted Answer

Install the Shut The F--- Up mod. According to its mod page, it removes the "Is that... fur? Coming out of your ears?" comment from guards. Not sure if it also removes the other werewolf-related comments, though.
Mod description, from its webpage:

This mod simply gets rid of all the annoying NPC dialogue that you've been tired of hearing over and over again. It mostly affects NPCs in Whiterun, but there are a few others for Markarth and Solitude. This mod includes two separate ESP files: one for guards (STFU - guards.esp) and one for everyone else (STFU.esp). You can choose to use both or just one. Let me know if there are NPCs in other cities that you want to STFU.
Update v2
This update removes a few more lines of dialogue. I've also separated
the dialogue into two separate ESP files: one for guards (STFU -
guards.esp) and one for everyone else (STFU.esp). You can choose to
use both or just one.

Another option is to use the No NPC Greetings mod. This will affect all NPCs though, not just guards. Depending on which components of the mod you installed, this will either completely stop NPCs from auto-greeting you or reduce the distance required before an NPC automatically talks to you or greets you. That should shut those snotty guards up.
A mod that specifically aims to improve guard dialogue (as mention by kotekzot) is Guard Dialogue Overhaul (PC) / (Xbox One) / (PS4):
Mod description:

This Mod alters the Guards' Dialogue, changing it from something that breaks your immersion in the world of Skyrim to something that actually increases it. All in the original voices and Fully compliant with Skyrim Lore.
GDO fixes All the Skyrim Guards dialogue bugs and does much, much more.
GDO alters the effect that Skyrim Guard dialogue has on the mood of your game. Rather than annoying you, guards will enhance your experience of the game and increase your immersion in the world of Skyrim by properly recognising your actions and not making disrespectful comments to a character that they are supposed to respect.

Personally, I would have not cured myself of Lycanthropy and just eat the next guard that talks to me in a slight way.

kotekzot · Answer

The condition for the guards' "werewolf" dialogue is that you have completed stage 30 of "The Silver Hand" quest, not whether you currently are a werewolf or not. You could try using the console commands resetquest C03, then setstage C03 200 to mark the quest as completed without stage 30 being marked as completed, though this can have potential side-effects (if the quality of scripting for the werewolf dialogue is any indication of Bethesda's scripting ability).
The condition for these lines have been fixed by the Unofficial Skyrim Patch to include a check for player's werewolf status, however sometimes the game may not properly register the fact that you are cured of lycanthropy. To get the game up to speed, use set PlayerIsWerewolf to 0.
Another solution is to try the mods from galacticninja's answer or Guard Dialogue Overhaul, my personal favorite, it makes guards progressively more courteous to you depending on your accomplishments and enables some lines which previously were too restricted to be seen in normal gameplay, such as recognizing you as a thane. Some lines are even accompanied by the guard standing to attention or putting their right fist on their chest.

How do I stop smelling like a wet dog?

2 Answers

Add your own answers!

Ask a Question